It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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