Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
