Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize