they need to just BURY HIM!
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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