Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
