Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
