Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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