you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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