you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
