I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
