Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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