I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The best revenge is premature balding
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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