Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
