Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
