You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
