Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
