There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
