He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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