i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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