She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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