"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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