suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
