What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Randomize
