every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
