chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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