This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
