i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My liver just had a heart attack.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
