yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
