yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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