Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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