apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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