I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
