Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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