Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
