listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I've blown a few things in my day
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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