I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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