just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
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