I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
