new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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