i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
