My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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