i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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