ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
