yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
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