ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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