apparently the secret to your success is patron
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
