It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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