Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
