She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just puked most of my soul out..
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