i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
