You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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