Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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