I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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