Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
