I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
