I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
