we made out on top of his cat.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
