I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize