Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
