I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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