yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
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