tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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