Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
