Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Quick, to the slutcave!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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