His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
