I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
i need some magic done to my vagina
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
