And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
