The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
