ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
