idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize