Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
