oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
