hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
